“Single Mother” is a term that leads to sympathy and compassion right? That used to be
the case for Trevor and I until his ex started to use it like she drinks wine (daily). Now I know this sounds like I am a bitch (oh honey, I’m a bitch for more reasons than that). I have friends that are single mothers. They work two jobs, their baby daddy isn’t in the picture, and they strive hard to provide a great life for their kids. Believe me ladies…I get you, respect you, and appreciate you. The day that it became difficult for me to accept the kids mom’s excuse of “I’m a single mother” fell through pretty early on. The kids mom cheated on Trevor which is what led to the divorce. So when she says these things, I have a strong desire to fire back “if you kept your legs closed for the guy on the side, you wouldn’t be a single mother!” But honestly, that’s not a true statement. It’s true that she cheated, but even if that didn’t occur, Trevor would have left at some point. It was a tumultuous relationship from the beginning and things are better for everyone, including the kids since they have separated.
The most recent occurrence of “I’m a single mother” happened when Henry was bit by a child at his daycare for the third time. Bit is a loose term. Blood, bite marks, and a permanent scar are more like it. Henry is four and goes to a daycare where there are 18-month olds and younger. Additionally, the provider plays on her Facebook account all day long instead of watching the kids. Trevor and I worked hard to find a Pre-School for Henry, but the kids mom’s excuse was “I’m a single mother and I can’t afford it” (Trevor and I pay for it and she went on two trips across the country the month prior to). Needless to say, when we say “we will pay for a safer environment for the kids so you can drink wine and go on lavish trips”, she caves.
Trevor takes the kids to almost all of their doctor, dentist, flu shot, and every other appointment. This includes when its scheduled on her time because she is a “single mother”. It works when there are things to be done for the kids. For example some form of work. But if it involves her taking a trip, going to a party, or a similar activity, it usually results in “I’m a single mother and I need to have fun”. Some people schedule their lives around their kids and others schedule their kids around their lives. The world has to have some sort of balance right? It’s important to know that while the kids don’t understand what you do for them at this age, they will. I realized it at 25. Sure it takes a while, but it’s so worth it.