The Positive Sides of Interacting with the Ex

Image result for girl phone conversation cartoonsIt’s a Friday evening and Trevor has been gone for two weeks of training with the Navy.  He is on his flight home right now and I CAN’T WAIT to see him.  It is 6:14pm and my phone rings.  Excited that it is him, I jump up to take the call.  When I look down at the phone though, it reveals a different name.  It’s the ex-wife.  My first thought is “why the heck is she calling me?”  I politely answer the phone and immediately the ringing of the voice stings. She says “I figure if we have to deal with each other we should get to know each other.  Can we chat for a while?”  I quickly calculate the amount of time until Trevor’s flight lands in Minneapolis for his layover.  I have 15 minutes.  We can totally do this!  “Sure!  What would you like to talk about?” I reply.  “Welllllllllll (do you ever notice that some people change the entire shape and meaning of a word by accentuating and dragging out the last letter?  This is what happens in every conversation had with the ex.  Just an observation that Trevor, myself, and every other person with ears has had.)  Anyway, back to the story.  “Wellllllllll, I don’t know you and I’m prone to not like you, but we should get a long for the kids.”  I reply with “I absolutely think we should get a long for the kids and I don’t think there is any reason why we shouldn’t like each other.  As far as I know at least.”  She begins to ramble on about how ex’s and new ones shouldn’t like each other, but we could be the exception and yada yada.  I truly appreciate that she is trying though.  I know it must be difficult to think of a new woman around a mother’s kids.

I look down at my phone and I have six missed call’s from Trevor.  Why do you ask?  Because the “I have 15 minutes, we can totally do this thing” is now at minute 72.  You read that right.  One hour and 12 minutes.  I have said two words.  I am beginning to feel like a therapist on the phone with a client that needed to lay on the couch and talk to someone.  I attempt to wrap it up and say thank you for her time and I look forward to working on our relationship.  She agrees and adds “Let’s get a glass of wine and talk about Trevor sometime!” as if we are sisters looking to gossip in high school.  I politely say “thank you for that and I will let you know.”  I call Trevor back and he is clearly not happy that I have been ignoring him.  Luckily, I tell him why I had ignored the calls and he quickly fires back “Holy shit!  Better you than me.  Thanks honey!”

While there is some humor in this, it should also be noted that I was appreciative for the call that day.  The kids mom and I do talk every once in a while.  I send her photos of the kids on Santa’s lap and the first fish caught by Henry.  She also updates me on anything regarding kids birthday parties so we do not duplicated efforts.  We truly do have an OK relationship.  Better than most that I know of from other stepmom’s.  We never got around to having that glass of wine and I think I am fine with that 🙂

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